I look at night clubs like they are my own personal pussy arena. Every night it’s the beaver Olympics. There is something about the thumping music, the often terrible DJs who think they are cooler than shit (most turds would look cooler if they wore a backwards hat and was spinning a track on a laptop), the sticky floors, the douche bags all lined up at the men’s room and even the guido bouncers – I love it all. Night clubs are my element. Yes, night clubs are by far one of the greatest places to pick up women – in my case it has been a little like shooting fish in a barrel – but you have to have the right moves. Here is the top ten list of how to pick up a woman – successfully – from a night club.
- For one, just like on an airplane – where it’s easier to get up and stretch your legs if you sit in aisle seat – making sure you are in the most opportune spot is of the utmost importance in the club. If you see a possible gazelle getting her groove on, on the dance floor, or sitting by the bar, you have to be ready to pounce at any moment. You don’t want to be packed in the middle of a booth or trapped trying to wade through a crowd.
- Don’t use cheesy pick up lines. Pick up lines don’t work anymore. Only douches and people with severe social anxiety disorders use pickup lines. The best way to strike up a convo is to ask her a question, or better yet, have her ask you a question. Make sure it’s shocking, but not offensive. The funnier the better. “Is that a deflated parachute you’re wearing for a dress or did you just have gastric bypass surgery,” is not the best first line – you will have a drink thrown in your face.
- For every girl you pick up in a bar, her ugly and/or fat counter part will try to cock block you. She will not get the hint – probably because her brain is too full of bean dip – that her friend is trying to have a moment and wants to be left alone. The best way to deflect the cock blocker is to call her out on it. Sometimes calling a spade a spade is your best line of defense.
- Always know when to quit. Always quit when you are on top. There are two parts to picking up a chick in a night club (three if you count the going home part): getting her attention and the sealing the deal. Once you have her attention, you want to quickly move to the sealing the deal part, which is mainly easy sailing. If you don’t know when to quit the first part you have problems. Trust your instincts on this one; I trust that if you do trust your gut, you’ll know when to change gears.
- Another options is to simply walk away or tell her “you’ll be right back,” after you’ve gotten her attention. I’ve done this one before and it works every time. Once you’ve changed gears she will be biologically hooked. Once you walk away you will sink the hooks in even further. The best place to go is outside – she might get the hint that you want her to follow you there. If she doesn’t, she is too stupid. Once outside you can move to stage two. Sometimes it’s even easier sailing if stage two – the sealing the deal stage – is outside and not in the loudness of the crowd. Most importantly, you can get a better look at her to make sure she isn’t a total burn victim.
- Many guys ask me the best ways to flirt with a woman and I usually have two answers. If you are an ugly guy talk about how rich and interesting you are. Most women are superficial. If you are moderately attractive to attractive, just use your sense of humor. You can be a touch of an a-hole to her and she’ll get a kick out of it. However, 99% of flirting is with the eyes – lots of sultry eye contact. You basically want to give her mind-blowing oral sex, with your eyes.
- Dancing is also an important component to picking up the ladies in the night club. You don’t have to be a regular Ricki Martin, but you should be able to follow along to a few different tempos. You also never want do to do the awkward “I don’t know how to dance” hand twirl that most guys do. If you are going out on the dance floor you have to own it. But dancing is important, not because it’s fun, but because it will release those sex hormones that only come out in a good sweat.
- Meeting her friends is another move that is incredibly important. You want to get to know them like they will be your in-laws for the next 8 hours, or until the next morning when you kick this girl out of your house and never call her again. You also want to get to know them because they will possibly be the deciding factor as to whether or not you take this girl home. Her friends will be judge and jury. Get on there side by including them in some of your conversation.
- When you do want to finally take her home, you have to be delicate about it, because while you might be ready, she might not be. This is when you can add some light touch. Stroke her hand, or better yet the inside of her arm. Hell, you could even make out with her a little. You want to get her nice and hot. It’s also better is she makes the first move and asks you to go back to your place. This means she wants to get in bed with you, stat.
- This is the part where your becoming friendly with her friends comes in handy. If her friends won’t let her leave, you’ll have to play it cool. All you have to do is assure them that you will take good care of her. Tell that you are a good guy and hope that they trust you. In my case, I always have to hope that they haven’t read my website or else they’ll know how much of a dirt bag I can be.
Anyways, I hope these tips will come in handy for you one day. These have all been the basics of what has been second nature to me. I know that some guys have a hard time with picking up the ladies. If you read about my sexcapades you’ll know I don’t have much trouble in that department. And I hope the same for you one day.by