Just a warning: this article might offend all of your sensibilities. If you are a chick, it might make you hate men forever. However, this article is mainly for the guys, but I don’t see why chicks should ignore it. Anyways, I think that when guys are looking for female pussy to bang that they should have a very clear ranking system in mind. No many how many beers you have had, you shouldn’t be relegated to waking up in the morning with chicks that have the face of a hound and the body of a post mortem manatee. It is important to know that super hot chicks are easy to find if you can keep your priorities straight. That is why rating systems are incredibly important. Here is the Jack Gary rating system.
0s and 3s
These are the fattest of the fat girls. These chicks, on the off chance that they were cut out of their own living rooms with the jaws of life and a crane, might be sweet and fun to laugh with, but really – come on – are you really going to hit that? No matter how much make up they might wear, they will still look like they fell down the ugly tree and hit every single branch on the way down.
If you have ever run into the lowest of the low, a “zero,” you will know it. You will forget about your sex drive entirely and fight furiously to find your iPhone so that you can send a picture of the beast to Ripley’s Believe It Or Not. These girls are all lumped into the lower category together, because it is kind of like the lowest rungs of Dante’s inferno. The punishments are all bad no matter how you look at them. However, when you start getting to around a 3, then you see some very minor improvement. If you are brave enough, you might let a 3 get you off with her giant tits.
4s and 5s
4s and 5s are lumped into the same category, because one is just a little more average than the other, if that makes any sense at all. You can usually find these chicks smoking cigarettes in the back of the club. They are rail thin and their boobs have a terrible areola to breast ratio. Also, they have moderate personalities and they are not so great in bed.
4s and 5s are only acceptable for a bathroom hand job or blowjob. You don’t want any of your friends knowing that you have hooked up with them, but you might let them blow you. In fact, a 4 is usually just okay at giving head and 5s are a little better. Oh, also, a lot of these chicks have random psychological problems from being so average, like kleptomania, eating disorders and bi-polar disorders. I don’t know what it is, but never start dating a 4 or 5.
6s and 7s
These girls are all right. A little better than average and you’d be happy to be seen talking with them in a club. Hell, you’d even be glad to take one home right in front of your friends. However, they are the kind of girls that you hope leave in the morning, because there is still something off. Wide jaw, eyes too set apart of close together, bad teeth or skin, you name it. In the morning you will see all of this in its full glory. 6s and 7s are a little bit like risky investments and should only be banged if the club or party has already been picked over.
6s and 7s also have great bodies. I don’t know what it is, but even if their face is a little off, their bodies are smoking hot. If only their face were as hot as their body they would be a few pegs higher in the ranking. 6s and 7s, in my experience, are also not so great at giving head. If you want to have a really great time with a 6 or a 7 it is recommended that you fuck them from behind so that you can focus on their ass and back, and not their slightly jacked up faces.
8s and 9s
Now we’re getting closer to the good stuff. While these chicks aren’t super hot, they are moderate to relatively attractive. You can shine a light in their face and you wouldn’t want to recoil if you just slept with them. You’d also be happy to go out in public with an 8 or a 9. Moreover, 8s and 9s make great booty calls.
8s and 9s also make totally sufficient conquests when you are out at the club looking for hot chicks. You should never be ashamed that you are taking an 8 or a 9 home. If you have the Jack Gary moves, you will be typically taking home 8s and 9s. 9s are actually insanely hot. They both have great bodies and great temperaments. They won’t usually freak out on you when you tell them that they have to leave in the morning and they will understand if you want to keep your options open. If you snag an 8 or 9 it might even be worth it to prioritize their contact somehow.
This is the end all, be all – the golden pussy. Your entire sexual prowess will be needed lure a 10. You’ll know a 10 when you see one, because your heartbeat will be going off the charts. In addition, these chicks are hall of fame, model hot. It takes a special kind of finesse to snag one of these chicks and bring her home. You’ll be lucky to find one that isn’t married or has a ring on her finger.
Lastly, rarely will you find a 10 that is less than 6 feet. So, you have to be prepared and feel comfortable under these Amazonian heights. Yet, get ready to be rocked in bed. When you do get a 10 into bed, you are into some of the best sex of your life. Just imagine her up there, on top of you, with her tits bouncing up and down. It is a glorious sight indeed. If you are reading this out there in Internet land, let me know if you’ve ever snagged a 10 and what it was like.by